Living the Questions

goodness gracious, time flies! only a short time in atlanta and here i am back in the city and back to work (which i wasn't completely thrilled with, i might add). although it's getting harder and harder to get up and go to the jcc everyday, i do it. and i did it this morning. for a grand total of 11 kids. that may sound like a lot, but usually we have 18 in our class. and some of the ones that showed today didn't show until pretty late in the day. really? what's the point? your other children are with you. why bring your 3 yr old to day care for a couple of hours? keep 'em with you. they need you. far more than you need to bring them to day care. anyway, after being gone a week, it was kind of good to go back and see the kids again. one of the girls -- who happens to be a favorite of mine, but also a troublemaker -- came in the room, peered around the adult standing in the doorway, and said, "you're back?!" and proceeded to run and give me a hug. it...

this week, i've had a lot of thoughts about different things and i'm not sure that i'll be able to articulate them well, so bear with me. *i love my friends. i didn't realize how much i missed them until we all hung out last night. they are an amazing group of people and i'm so blessed :) it was good to spend time with them and catch up on life. *technology is definitely wonderful. we can communicate with people who are far away and keep in touch with friends who don't live near us or who we haven't seen in a long time. however, i don't think that these forms of technology (phones, email, facebook, etc.) will ever replace real fellowship and face to face communication with friends and family. we were created to live life together, and while technology certainly helps us do so, it's so much more fulfilling and real when we're able to be with each other. *speaking of being in contact with friends, have you ever had things you wanted to share with y...

i know i say this quite often, but there are a lot of things rolling around in my head right now. this christmas has been one of unexpected events. and these events have me contemplating. here are the events, and then i'll share my thoughts.... when i arrived in atlanta on monday, my family was waiting for me at the airport. we had lunch and headed to good old dallas. momma and i turned right back around to do the christmas shopping i didn't do in baltimore because i thought it would be easier to wait til i got to atlanta. as we're pulling into the mall, we got a call from my dad telling us that my uncle, who has been sick for awhile, was most likely not going to make it through the night. so we waited at the mall for my dad and followed him to my cousin's house, where most of the family was gathered (which is a pretty large crowd....). momma and i stayed for awhile, but as it got later (i was almost falling asleep at the table), we headed home. the next morning when we...

and i apologize for my lack of writing. it's been rather busy around here, and our internet has been down for a couple of days. there have been many things i thought, "i should write about that", but it just hasn't happened, so i apologize for the mess that is likely to follow :) the biggest news i have is.....i have an apartment! you most likely know that i've been blessed to live with the prince family since i've moved up here. they are a wonderful family and i love them! it'll be a little strange at first not living with them :) anyway, the apartment is pretty big and in a good location...within walking distance of the park, everyone else's places, the locations for church, and a lot of other things. although there are things i would change, i feel good about it. it's been so rainy and dreary here lately. not necessarily cold, but the weather has been super nasty. today it is cold. anyway, the other day i walked to the landlord's place to tu...

Am I at the point of no improvement? What of the death I still dwell in? I try to excel, but I feel no movement. Can I be free of this unreleasable sin? Never underestimate my Jesus. You're telling me that there's no hope. I'm telling you you're wrong. Never underestimate my Jesus When the world around you crumbles He will be strong, He will be strong I throw up my hands "Oh, the impossibilities" Frustrated and tired Where do I go from here? Now I'm searching for the confidence I've lost so willingly Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear Never underestimate my Jesus. You're telling me that there's no hope. I'm telling you you're wrong. Never underestimate my Jesus When the world around you crumbles He will be strong, He will be strong I think I can't, I think I can't But I think you can, I think you can I think I can't, I think I can't But I think you can, I think you can Gather my insufficiencies and place th...

it's amazing how quickly our feelings can change isn't it? i'm not talking about feelings in relationships or with friends or anything like that (although, for some people, those feelings change rather quickly as well). i'm talking about how we feel throughout the day. these last couple of days i have been up and down so often that i'm beginning to wonder if there's something wrong with me :) you know those days where you just don't feel right? friday was one of those days for me. and it was a pretty good day, all things considered. but i just felt wrong. in lots of ways. one of them being that i felt less like a girl than i have in a long time. is that weird? ladies, please tell me i'm not the only one who feels that way sometimes! but friday night i felt pretty good. and today, it's like a new feeling every hour. good. bad. indifferent. happy. sad. ugh. yay! i mean, it's like i'm on a roller coaster. i'm not saying this to complain. ju...

to bake, create, get gifts for people!! because that's what i'll be doing most of this weekend :) i went christmas shopping last night, and didn't have a huge amount of success in the actual purchasing department, but i think i know better what i'm looking at and have some ideas. plus, now i can order online and have it shipped back home so i don't have to worry about packing it. i did walk away from the shopping experience with some stuff from michaels to make ornaments/cards/random stuff with! and a lot of it was on sale! i booked my tickets to head back to ga. almost a full week. it'll be good to see family and friends again! today simply didn't start off well. i couldn't wake up this morning, which is a tad bit understandable because i was subbing for the lead teacher in the room and i needed to be there an hour earlier than normal, but it was still far too difficult. it's been a bit of a dreary day, so that may have contributed. i spent the driv...

that's what today held for me, and i'm currently still enjoying it....listening to music, a little postsecret , playing with lauren and caleb, reading, uploading pictures....it's been a good day so far :) so, last time i wrote, it was about the kids in my class and how i got bit by one of them (to which my sister asked if i'd had my shots...). well, last week was "p" week....meaning we learned all about the letter p. wednesday we had a pizza party and talked about all the different kinds of toppings we wanted on our pizzas. we turned the class into a pizza parlor for lunch. it was cute. however, forgetting that i teach at the jewish community center, i did ask the kids if any of them wanted sausage on their pizza. and yes, i was in the middle of the hallway. and yes, another teacher did hear me and said something to me. i completely forgot....oops :) thursday i had a benefits meeting to go to, so i missed most of pajama day, but i was able to join in on the f...

and not by a vampire, for all you twilight fans....by a three year old. who threw a tantrum so bad he needed to be restrained. and while said restraining was taking place, i was bitten. and head-butted in the chest. 20 minutes later....the kid is a normal 3 year old again. we have 4 or 5 kids in our room who routinely create this kind of chaos (well, not the biting...). for a couple of them, it lasts 30 minutes and they wear themselves out. for the others, it's not so quick. it's an all day "what can we do about this?" process. love the kids completely....despise the situations. on another, less depressing note...tonight i got to hang out with 4 awesome kids for a little while. after we played for a bit and ater supper, the kids decided to watch a movie. so we watched an animated Bible classic of the christmas story that anna and i had when we were kids (and, as a matter of fact, still do...). and then we watched part of prince of egypt. it was cool to re-watch both a...

for a couple of reasons: *it's christmas season!! *i went to the clinic at cvs and finally got some medicine, and now i'm feeling so much better. full recovery is around the corner. *because it's christmas season, that means it's gift-giving season! now, i know that gifts can be and are given throughout the year, which i love just as much, but something about giving gifts at christmas time makes it just a tad more special :) *prince caspian comes out on dvd tomorrow!! ok, the fact that i'm that excited about it may make me a bit of a nerd, but i have a long-standing relationship with the narnia series. and i'm ok with that. it took me a little bit to actually like this representation of the prince caspian book (my thoughts are here ....if you want to read them.) anyway, now i love it and i'm excited to be able to see it again! so...today i woke up a little late for work. you know, the alarm went off at 6:25 and i woke up at 7...to leave at 7:25. surprisingly...

umm....totally can't believe that football game....so sad....uga, my bulldogs...what happened to you this year? thought i'd take this time to upload some pics for you...there aren't many, but here they are: these are the pretty leaves i saw on the way home from work each day. gorgeous. the crabs we made in class before our trip to the aquarium. aren't they cute?? the snow we had only about a week after i took that picture of the leaves! a couple of my kiddos watching the snow fall. they were too adorable! so, this past week we (meaning, gallery church ) decorated and served for a "fall" dinner at the kids' school. these are two of the decorations... i just love this quote... a few other quotes i liked: and this is the bottom of one of the vases that kristina put together one of the girls playing with the pipecleaners we put on the tables to keep the kids occupied. they ended up looking like decorations, but they were fun anyway! and finally, the pictu...

so. today was the first thanksgiving i've ever spent away from my family. it was a little strange, and being that i was away from the normal holiday traditions we have, probably didn't feel like thanksgiving as much as it normally does. but it was still good. i got to hang out with derek and kristina with their family, so that was nice. i watched the parade this morning. the whole thing. well, most of it. it's such a great holiday tradition. and santa was marvelous. i almost cried as meredith viera was talking about how emotional seeing santa in the parade made her. as thanksgiving night is upon us and i'm sitting here about to watch a charlie brown thanksgiving, i thought i'd do a little blogging. because it's thankgiving, i think i'm obligated to do the "what i'm thankful for this year" thing.... of course, there are many things in my life for which i'm thankful, but here are a few blessings in my life i'm grateful for at the moment.....

ok, so this post is really just about one thing that moves my heart, and not multiple things. kids. i love them. if you've known me any amount of time, you know how i feel about kids. they're precious and innocent and loving and can teach you so much if you let them. they capture your heart in more than one way. one of the girls that has been in my group at church for the last couple of weeks (not long at all, actually) came in today and asked specifically if i was going to be there tonight. it's just great to know that you're connecting with the kids you work with, even when you think you aren't. through the night, though, she was quite upset, and i never could figure out what was wrong. she kind of said something that makes me concerned for her and her brothers and sisters, but i don't really know what was going on. so precious. and going through so much, it seems. all kids generally are, but sometimes you get a picture of something that makes your heart ache...

i don't really have a lot to say, except that the holidays are almost here!!! thanksgiving is this week. i can't believe it. it came so quickly. christmas will be here before we know it. oh my goodness.

it's cold up here.... really, really cold.... what it would be in january in ga, it is here now.... and, it snowed today!!! not enough to do anything, but definitely enough to see and enjoy :) and when i left work, i promptly called my sister to let her know.....i'm sure she enjoyed that.... i can't believe we're only a week away from thanksgiving...november has gone by so quickly! that means i've been here 2 1/2 weeks already. i'm halfway through my 3rd week of work and of being here in baltimore. craziness... it feels like it's been longer than that, but at the same time it doesn't.....i hope that makes sense. :) how the grinch stole christmas was on tv the other night....while i loved watching it, i still can't figure out why it was on, randomly, before thanksgiving....

so, i love that movie :) and i had a moment today that made me feel a little like dorothy may have when she realized she wasn't in kansas anymore..... one of the things i've always loved about the south is the manners. granted, that sadly seems to be fading out in many places, but in general people in the south are friendly and respectful, even to strangers. while i'm not really living "up north", there are some definite differences. for example, today i was driving home from work, on the highway, and i get behind this car going pretty slowly. i see the blinker and think that maybe it's trying to change lanes, but it doesn't ever make it's move. about the same time, i see a car entering the highway with what appears to be a bright orange bumper sticker in their front windshield. i try to read it and think, "hmm, that's an interesting place for a bumper sticker. and why would you really want a bright orange bumber sticker says liberal anyway?...

it is 8pm and i am really, really tired. how sad is that? and it's been this way for a couple of days.... also, in the kitchen at the jcc a lot of the classes have been baking things that smell oh so good...and have left me wanting to make something.... i love the cosby show... how's that for a random entry?

so, i've been in baltimore for almost 5 full days :) steph was in town for the weekend and left saturday morning....we had a lot of fun and it was great to spend time with her again! we even had a chance to go see charm city cakes!! for those of you who don't know, i'm a pretty avid food network watcher. and i love "ace of cakes", which is a show about a cake bakery in baltimore. steph happens to love it too and really wanted to go find it, so we did. when we got there, we saw one of the people who works there outside the restaurant across the street....and debated whether or not we should really get out to take our picture because she might see us....for about a minute and then did it anyway.....and ta da!! yep. sorry it's small, but we wanted to get the charm city logo in the picture. it's a pretty building. also, you may not be able to see it, but i'm definitely rocking the red and black to cheer on the dawgs for the florida game. sadly, it did no...

so, recently i have found a couple of things online that i love.....and i decided to share them with you. first, one of the best abc books i've ever seen. it's not necessarily the best book, teaching wise, but it's really cool. it's called abc3d and it's just awesome. it's a pop-up book and almost all the letters are 3d. i think the 'u' is my favorite. if you click on the name of the book, you'll be able to see a promo video for the book. everyone should check it out....i mean it....you'll be glad you did :) next, i found a website called postcrossing . when you sign up on the website, they give you the address of another member who lives somewhere in the world. you send the person a postcard and eventually you start getting postcards from people also. real mail from all over the world. not only is this cool because you become connected to people across the globe, but i also think it would be an awesome project for a class to do. third, a projec...

so, we made it to baltimore. and by we, i mean my friend steph and i. we left steph's house at around 4:30 in the am yesterday and drove all day. we were supposed to meet a friend for a bit, but sadly she had to study for a test. we miss you, becky! anyway, we made great time and arrived at our desired time. we could have been earlier but got a little sidetracked (note...lost) in the dc area and then hit some traffic coming from dc to baltimore. however, when we got in baltimore, we got rid of the directions because we didn't find the road we were supposed to take and so.....i used the map and my very, very limited knowledge of the streets of the city and we found our way! an accomplishment :) as soon as we got here we headed to dinner with some of the church family at a pretty good pizza restaurant. after we unloaded the car we walked down to fells point for some gelato and to see what kind of halloween crazinesswas happening. lots of interesting costumes. and the gelato was m...

all day today, all i've wanted to do is take a really big blanket and something hot to drink and curl up. now, finally, i am....sort of, anyway :) i have a confession. i just saw hsm 3....yes, really. and i'm only a little embarrassed to admit it. i wasn't sure what to expect, but it far exceeded expectations. however, i think one thing that made it so enjoyable was watching it with my sister and being able to laugh with her at the cheesiness of the movie and the reactions of the others in the theater. for example, almost everytime troy came on the, screen, the girls in the audience would gasp or say, "oh my goodness, he's gorgeous!" or something of the sort. so, my sister knew this would happen and decided she would lead the pack. the first time they showed the kid on the screen, anna says, "zac efron!" in this high, squeally? voice and all the other girls joined right in. oh, fun times. all in all, it was worth it, i guess. i drive up to baltimore ...

and most of you know it. recently this is evidenced by the fact that i'm reading "how to read literature like a professor" (thomas foster) for the pure enjoyment of it. this is a book that is used in many classes and courses to help students become better readers and interpreters of literature. now, for those of you who don't like this kind of thing, you're probably thinking something along the lines of, "wow, that girl is a little nutty." well, you'd be right, probably. but i'm actually enjoying this book, and although i'm still in the beginning of it, totally recommend it to each of you :) the second chapter is titled 'nice to eat with you: acts of communion'. in this chapter, foster discusses how meal scenes are used in literature and talks about how every meal is an act of communion. he says that many times his students disagree at first because simply eating a meal with someone doesn't seem quite the same as communion in the ...

so, it's been awhile since i last wrote....sorry to the three of you who read this :) a lot has happened since then, so here are some random bits from my life: anna and ray's gallery is up on altmix photography ....check it out! just click on the pic that says "anna and ray". thanks kate and matt! you're awesome! i'm moving to baltimore! there have been a lot of things that i've said on here about events in my future, being unsure about what was going to happen, etc. i didn't want to say on here til more was known. there's still a lot that i don't know, but i know these things: i'm moving. i have a job at the jewish community center and i start on nov. 3. i'll be up there with gallery church baltimore . i know this is where God wants me. and i'm super excited. apartment hunting is interesting. enough said. i love cold weather. i spent much of this weekend bundled up as much as i could be with what i took with me...scarves, jackets,...

a couple of posts ago i mentioned how there were a lot of things in my life that i needed some prayer about. basically, i said, i needed God to come through in a big way. i'm a worrier by nature, so when i think about all these things, i can get way overwhelmed and stressed. last night, while i was doing a little devotion time, i was reading in deuteronomy. that may be a little random, but i've really felt drawn to read the book lately. anyway, i was reading deuteronomy 7. the first part of the chapter is moses telling the israelites not to intermarry and to keep the commands of the Lord. the second part was titled, "promises of God." it was all wonderful but these verses spoke to me: 7:17 if you should say in your heart, 'these nations are greater than i; how can i disposess them?' you shall not be afraid of them; you shall remember what the Lord your God did... 7:21-23 you shall not dread them, for the Lord your God is in your midst, a great and awes...

embracing accusation, by shane and shane the father of lies coming to steal kill and destroy all my hopes of being good enough i hear him saying cursed are the ones who can’t abide he’s right alleluia he’s right! the devil is preaching the song of the redeemed that I am cursed and gone astray i cannot gain salvation embracing accusation could the father of lies be telling the truth of God to me tonight? if the penalty of sin is death then death is mine i hear him saying cursed are the ones who can’t abide he’s right alleluia he’s right! oh the devil’s singing over me an age old song that I am cursed and gone astray singing the first verse so conveniently he’s forgotten the refrain Jesus saves! second chance, by hillsong united you called my name reached out Your hand restored my life and i was redeemed the moment You entered my life amazing grace Christ gave that day my life was changed when from my shoulders fell the weight of my sin so it’s with everything i am i reach out for Your h...

my sister is married. it was a beautiful day and everything went smoothly. friday and saturday were incredibly busy and at the end of it, i was so tired. but really happy. saturday was a great day. not only did anna get married, but there were a lot of friends at the wedding i hadn't seen in awhile. it was wonderful to see y'all again! i can't wait to see everyone's pictures :) today, i went to return the tuxes with my mom and afterwards, she wanted to go to kohl's. while we were in kohl's, i dropped my phone. i didn't really think a lot of it because i've dropped it before and nothing has happened. but i was not so lucky this time. nope. the screen on my phone is completely blank, which means that i can't get any texts at all (well, i can get them, but i can't read them). and wouldn't you know it, i've gotten 2 in the last couple of hours. i tried to respond to them by remembering where all the buttons were, but i don't think i got ...

last week, in my "it's officially fall post", i talked about how i had something planned to celebrate fall, but it wasn't really working at the moment. so, on wednesday, i decided to try again. i had planned this great cookie making adventure. i was going to mix the dough, turn it colors and use my pumpkin and leaf cookie cutters so the cookies would be fall shaped. when they finished baking, it would be decorating time. well, it didn't exactly go as planned. first, we didn't have the same amount of flour as required by the recipe, so i figured it would be cool anyway. 3&1/2 cups is a lot of flour. so i used a little less than 3. once i got into the recipe, i realized that the ingredients list was incomplete. the first step called for me to mix in the egg. however, it wasn't really clear whether it was one egg or two eggs. i looked at a couple of other recipes and guessed. two eggs, it is. when i finished the dough and got it all multi-colored, i had t...

the fall baking center at walmart!! seriously, it made my day to see this in the store: ahh, another sign of fall :) i love the fall baking center aisle. so much to choose from, so many ideas -- gingerbread, pies -- crusts and fillings, graham crackers, mint, all the fall spices in one place, even foil baking dishes so you can take the goods somewhere. i love it. just the other day, i was in the store and saw the touchdown/ football center -- you know, all the tailgate-type foods in one place -- and i thought, "soon, the fall baking center will be there instead." and my heart was happy. it's the little things, i guess :) and yes, i did sneak down an aisle and take a picture of it while i was grocery shopping.

fall, that is :) monday was the first day of the fall season. and i really should have posted this on monday, but i didn't. i've been anticipating the return of the fall season for awhile now (which, if you've read this in the last few weeks, you'll already know and likely be sick of hearing about). not only has fall officially arrived, but we actually had some cooler weather along with it. i woke up monday and life just felt differently. the sky was a different color blue than it usually is -- brighter, somehow. the air was crisper. and everything seemed new and fresh. what's that? fall is the season where things die, not become new? hmm....maybe, but for now i'm disagreeing with you. this first day of fall made everything seem new, crisp, fresh and simply amazing. and i'm ushering in fall with some baked goods that haven't been able to materialize yet, but soon, very soon, they will. and you'll see pics. rejoice, my friends! it's fall! anna...

so, in the last few days, i've decided a couple of things: 1) when i'm living in my own place, i will have really thick towels to use in the kitchen. my fingertips will never forgive me if i don't, because at the rate i'm going, all nerve endings in my fingers will be dead in a couple of years. 2) i really want to start catching up on movies i really should have seen by now, but never have. 3) it's now fall. and i want to go fall shopping. 4) because it is fall (well, it's official next week), i've decided to revolt against summer. i'm lighting my fall candles. baking my fall treats. my car is full of fall-ness, thanks to my autumn wreath scent from yankee candle. and for the most part, i'm retiring my sandals til next spring. i don't care how hot it gets. summer is dead to me til next year. to stay in the theme of this post, i have a decision to make. what to do with my life. it seems this in an ongoing thing, and makes me feel rather like i sho...

so, i was in barnes and noble today with my mom and sister on the way home from anna's final shower. now, if you know me, you know that i can wander around that store (or the like) for a long time, and pretty much in any section (with certain exceptions, of course....science fiction, economics, etc...). recently, however, due to various reasons, i always find myself drawn to the cooking/ crafty section or the kids section. among other wonderful children's books i saw, i stumbled across this book: the gentle art of domesticity , by jane brocket . you're probably thinking, as my sister did, "really? come on. that sounds ridiculous." before you judge, hear me out. although it's hard to describe everything this book contains, i'm going to try (and if it still doesn't make sense, go here . it's the corresponding blog). the secondary title of the book is "stitching, baking, nature, art and the comforts of home". and that's what the book ...

ugh. that's all i have to say.

can be brought on by the smallest things. today, my happiness has been caused by these things: we found my uga flip flops!!!! it's been so long, and i was afraid i'd have to buy a new pair. i was productive today (cleaning, dry cleaning, organizing, etc). i've decided to be creative with all the t-shirts i have from my life....more on that later.... and itunes pleased me today because shuffle picked good songs. you know those songs that remind you of something or just make your heart smile? itunes picked a lot of those today :)

the last few days my life has been consumed by uploading, organizing, backing up, copying and developing pictures. from my camera, my mom's camera and my dad's camera. pictures from a couple of years ago up to now. developing pictures is expensive . way more than it should be. but anyway, here are a couple of pics from my adventures with the cameras: me and anna sitting on the bulldog at broad and college, in front of starbucks. this is me, my aunt nora and reagan at a family reunion last fall. me, taping a wall in a school in baltimore so it could be painted....one of the few pictures that has me in it from this trip :) the last couple of weekends have been the property of showers. anna's had 2 showers already and this weekend we're preparing for a third this weekend. i'm not sure what i was expecting showers to be like, but they've been kind of fun. we've gotten to hang out with friends and family, and anna's gotten good stuff. my last post sound...