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a new (serious) like

so, i was in barnes and noble today with my mom and sister on the way home from anna's final shower. now, if you know me, you know that i can wander around that store (or the like) for a long time, and pretty much in any section (with certain exceptions, of course....science fiction, economics, etc...). recently, however, due to various reasons, i always find myself drawn to the cooking/ crafty section or the kids section. among other wonderful children's books i saw, i stumbled across this book: the gentle art of domesticity, by jane brocket. you're probably thinking, as my sister did, "really? come on. that sounds ridiculous." before you judge, hear me out.
although it's hard to describe everything this book contains, i'm going to try (and if it still doesn't make sense, go here. it's the corresponding blog). the secondary title of the book is "stitching, baking, nature, art and the comforts of home". and that's what the book is. the author's attempt to show how she incorporates these things into her family's life, where the inspirations come from, and the comforts the "arts of domesticity" bring to her. within the pages of the book are anecdotes, recipes, to-see-movie lists, quilting, to-read-book lists, gardening, art that she finds inspiration in, encouragement, passion, ideas, fun, and comfort.
i haven't read every word, which is why this book is simply a 'like' at the present moment. i'm quite positive that soon it will be a love, due to the fact that i will likely look through this book, read and re-read it often in the next few weeks.


very early in the book, she makes this statement:
"there is a world of difference between domesticity and domestication. this book is about domesticity and the pleasures of the gentle domestic arts...it is emphatically not about the repetitive, endless rounds of cleaning, ironing, shopping and house maintenance that come with domestication."
she goes on to say that domesticity "focuses on creativity in the domestic space" and that it "gives us the opportunity to express ourselves."
in reading that, it made a lot of sense to me. so, i decided to look up the definitions of domestic, domesticity and domestication in hopes of maybe getting a better understanding of these words and the author's thoughts. plus, it helped me to understand my own thoughts.

domestic: of or pertaining to the home, the household, household affairs, or the family

domestication: to tame
domesticity: home life or devotion to it.

so, in reading these defintions, i knew that domestic meant what it does ( in actuality, i knew all of it, but i wanted to get the official def.). most of the time we think of domestication in terms of pets. domestic animals. we've trained them, they're tame. but really, it can apply to people too. household duties, chores, routines, rules, etc. they all fall under the category of domestication. we're trained to do these things, especially as girls -- to keep house, essentially (and no, i'm not one of those girls who think this is horrible and suscribes to the feminist movement and all that). who wants to be trained? or live a tame life?
i keep thinking of a book i read awhile ago that most of you have probably heard of or read called captivating. it is the companion to wild at heart. both are wonderful books. anyway, the things the authors say that the heart of every girl desires (however those desires are manifested) are "to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty." now, much of what is considered domestication doesn't meet these desires.
however, domesticity seems that it can.
devotion to home life.
whether you want a family or don't, you're married or not, feel like this is you or not, devotion to home life is beautiful. investing in people. extending hospitality. creating a warm, welcoming, comforting environment. this is domesticity. this enables us to unveil the beauty of an open life and to help others see the beauty inside them. we are able to be part of a great adventure simply by living life with others, by loving them, just as we were called to do. life lived with others is both beautiful and an adventure (you never know what you're going to get!)
i guess that's why this resonates with me so much. beyond all the "gentle arts" displayed in this book, you see a woman who is doing her best to make her house a home, to love her family, and to show others how easy it can be.
i also think about all the ways i see this in my friends and family, and all the various ways they do this. everyone is different, and it's interestingly amazing to see those unique traits displayed in how each of them offer hospitality and display their "domesticity." from gini, who is a constant encourager to everyone around her and is one of the most creative people i know, to my friend katy who, with her husband, is an amazing photographer and delights in creative cooking and experimeting, to my sister anna who may not like any of these "gentle arts", but enjoys having people around her and in her house, to lyndsey whose house is always open whenver a crazy group of people want to come play games in her living room :). we all do this so uniquely and personally, but through each of these people (and so many more i can't list) and their willingness to show "domesticity" and hospitality, we see a glimpse of God and we're able to see what life was meant to be:
lived together with others, loving people and loving God.

Comments

katealtmix said…
i'm totally going to read that book! i love the way you suggest the 'devotion to home life' idea over the 'tame' false idea. you rock!

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