Living the Questions

conflicting feelings abound.... i'm feeling quite blah right now....however, i'm also feeling yay! because tomorrow i'm headed to athens for the rest of the week. it's been a long time since i've been to athens. when i left (because i graudated), i wasn't sure when i'd ever be back, for a myriad of reasons, but that's another story for another time, perhaps. i went back for a football game once last fall and most of the time it felt really weird...this time, i'm actually looking forward to it. 1 bridal shower, 1 graduation, 1 graduation party, and a lot of spending time with friends. of all the things that i miss about college/ that i would change about "real life" it would have to be my friends. i love the friends i have now, so please don't get me wrong. you're all precious and wonderful to me, and i feel blessed to have you in my life. there's something comforting about friends who have known you for awhile. i miss them, and ...

two words that are hard to put in the same sentence. when you add patience, the sentence gets even harder to live out. yet, this is where i find myself. yesterday, i spent some time at one of my favorite places just journaling and reading. i was really down about where i am in life right now. i felt like i'd been doing so well with the waiting, but yesterday i just got really discouraged. i needed to know that God was there (yes, I know He says He's never leaving me and that i'm never alone, but sometimes the head and the heart aren't in sync). i'm reading in the middle of joshua right now where they're talking about who gets what land and so on, which is wonderful in some ways, but it just wasn't what i needed. so, i decided to read psalm 27 because yesterday was the 27th and psalms so often speaks that which the heart is unable to express. and this is what i read: The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the defense of my life;...

i finally filled by craving for waffles....i'm not exactly sure why i wanted waffles so badly, but i did, and praise God (seriously) that today was the day :) here's a slightly amusing (maybe) story for your reading pleasure: for those who know me, i can be a pretty jumpy person, and that may be an understatement (i spent much of the dark knight curled up in my chair...i know). however, of all the things that cause me to be on edge, being by myself during the day isn't one of them.... so, around noon i was laying on the couch watching a little gilmore, being lazy before i went out for the day, and all of a sudden i hear this noise. i can't even explain it to you, but i've never heard anything like it before that i can recall. so i look up and see these guys standing at the door. i have no idea who they are, but they're at my front door, making weird noises that make me think they're wanting something other than to drop off a package or tell us the flowers ar...

today i have spent a good portion of the day watching musicals and making things (signs, bookmarks, etc)....good times :) i know in the last post i said i'd be positive, but this won't take long....i'm in a weird mood...definitely a "i feel stuck where i am-not sure where i'm going or what i'm doing-want to watch movies and eat junk food all the time" mood. which isn't pleasant....however, sometimes it's fun to watch movies all day long and indulge yourself....except still taking it easy on the junk food, so as not to become sick.... hmmm....i don't really have a lot to say after all....so i'm going to leave you with this inspirational quote from the dvd i'm about to put in the player..... "i can't date you...you're special. special? like stop eating the paste special?" thought it was appropriate since i worked with glue all day....

random little bit -- because i mentioned my mom in my last post, an author asked me to consider being interviewed for his newest book....interesting..... anyway... baltimore was wonderful -- everything i expected and more. i'm so glad i went. the family and community they've begun creating is phenomenal and i know that God is going to continue to bless their efforts to renew the city. in an effort to explain the words i chose, here is a synopsis of the trip: in the mornings, we worked in a school that had a rough go of it this year -- cleaning, sanding, painting, and organizing. after lunch, each afternoon was a little different. for example, one day we walked around handing out water bottles and picking up trash. one night we had a block party and the next we helped out at a movie night on the pier in fell's point. we had a couple of free nights as well, in which we hung out, shopped, watched the dark knight, and generally had a good time. that, in a very small nutshell, i...

from baltimore, that is. and i will definitely post more on that later, but here are some words to describe the trip: friends, learning, seeing, loving, gelato!, overwhelmed, working, walking, movies, fun, memories, thinking, kids, friends...

right now, i am frustrated. there are many things that have caused this recent frustration attack: i'm packing (which, for some reason, always gets my emotions running high), i need to finish cleaning, i'm in the process of making some stuff for the trip i'm taking this week (which is a mission trip to baltimore), i'm just a little tired, and there are many communication issues i'm having with people in my life, for a plethera of reasons.... also right now causing a problem is the fact that we are going on this mission trip together (my parents and i) and one of my worries has been interacting with my parents on this trip.....while i'm glad we're all going together (that is, in fact, one of the reasons i wanted to go on the trip), i've also been worried -- i'm a worrier....what can i say? -- anyway, i truly believe that satan knows this worry of mine and is trying to capitalize on the sometimes rocky relationships we have to create disharmony and dis...

it's raining....praise the Lord! we definitely need it. i spent the day cleaning my room because i'm going to be packing for a trip soon and i hate packing and leaving when everything's not clean. i found a lot of fun stuff that i had forgotten i had kept. cards, programs, pictures, ticket stubs....mostly from college. it was cool to get to walk down memory lane a little....i miss you, my friends! so, i'm going to baltimore next week with west ridge to help out a new church (the gallery church -- check it out!). we're (my parents and i) are leaving saturday morning to drive the big, rented van up there and be there in time to meet the rest of the team on sunday morning (thery're coming by train....i've never done that, but i think it would be an interesting way to travel :)). although i'm not really sure what to expect, i mostly excited about it. of course i'm a tad nervous and anxious as well, but anyone who knows me knows that's normal. most of...

there's a really big, flying, stinnging bug in the lamp a few feet away from me....we've been at odds all day and i thought it would be killed by now by the other people who live here (i don't do bugs...or spiders...or anything else like that).....and now i hear its hugeness and buzzing around so close.....not a fan! in other news, i really was hoping for the chance to go read somewhere today, but alas, it didn't happen....i tried so hard (ok, well, i could've tried a little harder, i guess). i'll try again tomorrow to fit it in between a clothing outreach and a small group (finally, a small group.....i've felt the need for one for awhile....i hope this one will work out!). i can't believe it's july. time flies. i watched definitely, maybe and charlie bartlett recently. definitely, maybe was cute. everything i expected it to be. absolutely a chick flick, and this one actually had a good twist to it, i thought. they approached the stereotypical chick ...

it's early in the day, and i may post again later today, but i wanted to share this before i forgot about it: last night, i had a dream where i ended up dating bobby flay (for those who don't know, he's a chef and one of the food network stars). i think this is weird because in real life i'm not a huge fan of the man. i think he's a tad arrogant. and it wasn't really him, but that's who i saw in the dream....you know how you dream about something and there's someone there who looks like someone you know but it's not really them? anyway, not only is it strange that i end up "with" bobby flay, the dream took on sort of a knight's tale quality -- half modern, half medieval. except, unlike the movie, we were in modern times wearing old clothes (and only the kids were wearing old clothes, actually). there was this little girl who was working in the castle where we were eating dinner at the dinner party. she was really small (and looked like ...