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peace and waiting

two words that are hard to put in the same sentence. when you add patience, the sentence gets even harder to live out. yet, this is where i find myself.
yesterday, i spent some time at one of my favorite places just journaling and reading. i was really down about where i am in life right now. i felt like i'd been doing so well with the waiting, but yesterday i just got really discouraged. i needed to know that God was there (yes, I know He says He's never leaving me and that i'm never alone, but sometimes the head and the heart aren't in sync).
i'm reading in the middle of joshua right now where they're talking about who gets what land and so on, which is wonderful in some ways, but it just wasn't what i needed. so, i decided to read psalm 27 because yesterday was the 27th and psalms so often speaks that which the heart is unable to express.
and this is what i read:

The LORD is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the defense of my life;
Whom shall I dread?
When evildoers came upon me to devour my flesh,
My adversaries and my enemies,
They stumbled and fell.
Though a host encamp against me,
My heart will not fear;
Though war arise against me,
In spite of this I shall be confident.

One thing I have asked from the LORD,
that I shall seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the LORD
And to meditate in His temple.
For in the day of trouble He will conceal me in His tabernacle;
In the secret place of His tent He will hide me;
He will lift me up on a rock.
And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me,
And I will offer in His tent sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD.

Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice,
And be gracious to me and answer me.
When You said, "Seek My face,"
my heart said to You, "Your face, O LORD, I shall seek."
Do not hide Your face from me,
Do not turn Your servant away in anger;
You have been my help;
Do not abandon me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation!
For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
But the LORD will take me up.

Teach me Your way, O LORD,
And lead me in a level path
Because of my foes.
Do not deliver me over to the desire of my adversaries,
For false witnesses have risen against me,
And such as breathe out violence.
I would have despaired unless I had believed
that I would see the goodness of the LORD
In the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the LORD.

i teared up....it was exactly what i needed. a prayer that david spoke so very many years ago could have come from my heart today. sent from God so my heart could express the things it so needed to, but also to encourage me.

and so, i'm waiting. it's not easy, but i'm waiting for the Lord.


p.s. that version is the nasb....and the emphasis was added :)

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