A few weeks ago, I went to get a haircut -- an event I love because it is sooo relaxing. But it never fails that I overthink it & become a ball of nerves. Every. single. time.
Yesterday, I re-watched Prince Caspian. Again. My love for this movie runs deep, y'all.
I normally fast forward through the battle scenes in every movie I watch, because too. much. fighting. But this time, I watched Peter fighting Miraz. He was worn out, exhausted, and he had no idea if all this fighting was worth it. Then, when it appeared the fight was over and he was done, the Telmarines betrayed them, and Peter was face-to-face with battle once more. No time to rest or even to think. No idea where Lucy was with Aslan, or if/how/when they would show up. Yet Peter turns around and leads the Narnian troops into a battle that looked lost, with a cry of "For Aslan!" He kept fighting, because that's what he knew to do. It was hard and messy and confusing, but he kept on, because that's the task he was given to do. Somewhere deep within, I think Peter knew that Aslan was coming, but you had to know he was wondering where on earth He was and how much longer can we last?
Many of you know that this year (I teach, so I work on school calendar years) has been a record-breaking hard year. I'm not sure hard even begins to cover it, though I don't have the right words to express the full breadth of how hard it has been. One thing after another, literally every time I turned around. I have felt attacked and targeted as I've gone through this year with sadness, frustration, anger, failure, depression, confusion. And on, and on.
Sitting in that chair during my haircut, it struck me that I am not a stylist. She had a vision and knew what she was doing. If I told her to stop, my hair could have ended up lopsided and weird looking -- not what I was going for, obviously. Stopping in the middle of the hair cut would have been slightly disastrous. When she was finished, I really loved my hair. I saw what she had in mind -- the end result was worth it. What I felt was excessive cutting was necessary for it to be right.
I went in and told the stylist -- who I trust because I've been going to her for a few years now -- that I wanted something a little different, with more definition & movement, and she got started. There always come a point in every hair cut when I feel like the stylist is cutting off too much. I panic and start to wonder where all my hair is going & how could I do this & ohmygosh I'm going to regret this. Didn't the stylist hear me? I didn't want that much cut off!
This time, when that happened, I just watched as well as I could, and while I was sitting in the chair, I started thinking about life. Sometimes life is like that haircut, and there seems to be a lot of cutting, changing, and moving that's not always easy to understand.
*****************
Yesterday, I re-watched Prince Caspian. Again. My love for this movie runs deep, y'all.
I normally fast forward through the battle scenes in every movie I watch, because too. much. fighting. But this time, I watched Peter fighting Miraz. He was worn out, exhausted, and he had no idea if all this fighting was worth it. Then, when it appeared the fight was over and he was done, the Telmarines betrayed them, and Peter was face-to-face with battle once more. No time to rest or even to think. No idea where Lucy was with Aslan, or if/how/when they would show up. Yet Peter turns around and leads the Narnian troops into a battle that looked lost, with a cry of "For Aslan!" He kept fighting, because that's what he knew to do. It was hard and messy and confusing, but he kept on, because that's the task he was given to do. Somewhere deep within, I think Peter knew that Aslan was coming, but you had to know he was wondering where on earth He was and how much longer can we last?
*****************
Many of you know that this year (I teach, so I work on school calendar years) has been a record-breaking hard year. I'm not sure hard even begins to cover it, though I don't have the right words to express the full breadth of how hard it has been. One thing after another, literally every time I turned around. I have felt attacked and targeted as I've gone through this year with sadness, frustration, anger, failure, depression, confusion. And on, and on.
So many times I questioned God, cried to Him, yelled at Him. Why??? What are You doing? Why is this so hard right now? But it hasn't relented, not really. Certain situations have gotten easier, yet other things are falling into those recently vacated spaces. To be honest, I haven't been at all sure I was going to make it.
I have felt a lot like Peter. When will the fighting end? When will relief come? Exhausted, getting up again, not sure how any of it will turn out. Not always doing my best to charge back into the fray, but trying and trying and trying again.
I have felt a lot like Peter. When will the fighting end? When will relief come? Exhausted, getting up again, not sure how any of it will turn out. Not always doing my best to charge back into the fray, but trying and trying and trying again.
*****************
Sitting in that chair during my haircut, it struck me that I am not a stylist. She had a vision and knew what she was doing. If I told her to stop, my hair could have ended up lopsided and weird looking -- not what I was going for, obviously. Stopping in the middle of the hair cut would have been slightly disastrous. When she was finished, I really loved my hair. I saw what she had in mind -- the end result was worth it. What I felt was excessive cutting was necessary for it to be right.
Y'all.
Can I just tell you how much I realized that God sometimes moves in the same ways?
That He sometimes cuts and trims and life is difficult because He needs to prune or refine.
Many, many times, when I just want to yell, STOP! my loving Father says, I can't yet. It's not over, but soon. More is required. But I promise I'll be with you the whole way. The end result is worth it, because the end result is more of Me.
In Tessa Afshar's Harvest of Rubies, Sarah sees the gardener, Bardia, chopping away at some vines. She chastises him -- "Bardia, stop! You'll kill it." Bardia wisely responds that to be at its best, the vine needed to suffer, to be chopped down.
"Consider, my lady, I'm the gardener and I know what the vine needs in order to thrive.You only see the stripping, but I cut the vine in order to restore it. I take away from it to enrich it. You hold in your hand a withering branch and that's all you see now, but I know that I have given the vine a more abundant life."
Scripture is clear that God moves and works in the lives of those who are His. He refines us and makes us more like Him, makes us more willing and able to be used. I don't know why this season of life has been so difficult -- personally and all over the world, but I'm hoping and praying for all of us that He's drawing us closer to Him, leading us to the abundant life He's promised us -- a life lived with Him, no matter what that looks like or what may come.
And when I want to yell for it to stop, God always comforts and reminds through His Word
In Tessa Afshar's Harvest of Rubies, Sarah sees the gardener, Bardia, chopping away at some vines. She chastises him -- "Bardia, stop! You'll kill it." Bardia wisely responds that to be at its best, the vine needed to suffer, to be chopped down.
"Consider, my lady, I'm the gardener and I know what the vine needs in order to thrive.You only see the stripping, but I cut the vine in order to restore it. I take away from it to enrich it. You hold in your hand a withering branch and that's all you see now, but I know that I have given the vine a more abundant life."
Scripture is clear that God moves and works in the lives of those who are His. He refines us and makes us more like Him, makes us more willing and able to be used. I don't know why this season of life has been so difficult -- personally and all over the world, but I'm hoping and praying for all of us that He's drawing us closer to Him, leading us to the abundant life He's promised us -- a life lived with Him, no matter what that looks like or what may come.
And when I want to yell for it to stop, God always comforts and reminds through His Word
"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are -- yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."
Hebrews 4:14-16
"The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3:17
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
Matthew 6:26
"You are the God who sees me..."
Genesis 16:13
Praise the Lord."The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3:17
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
Matthew 6:26
"You are the God who sees me..."
Genesis 16:13
"The LORD is the One who will go before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid or discouraged."
Deuteronomy 31:8
Comments