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granting grace, plus another list

y'all.
i never thought this week would end.
there was so much to do and i just didn't know how it was all going to get done. in fact, starting on sunday, i was completely overwhelmed by all that was due. and on tuesday, i felt like i was going to cry at any moment trying to get it done. because i knew that though i really, really wanted to turn it all in on time, there was just no possible way it was going to happen.
i didn't even procrastinate that much (i'd be lying if i said i didn't procrastinate at all). i started to work on the first and biggest assignment awhile ago. i thought i would finish it, then do the second assignment, then do the third.
haha.
it came to monday night and i realized i wasn't going to finish the first paper, so i started the second one. stayed up all night wednesday night. i mean, seriously. i slept maybe 45 minutes. luckily i have a couple of amazing friends who helped me stay awake that long because they were working on stuff, too. praise the Lord for that! without them, i wouldn't have made it much past midnight.
and i still didn't finish. the day it was due, i had to go talk to my professor and tell him that i just couldn't do it. i had so much due that week and i grossly underestimated how much it really was, and my ability to get it done.
then later that day, i had to go to my other professor, the one for whom the big paper was due on friday and tell him that there was no way i was going to be able to finish it by the due date. that i tried, but i just couldn't make it happen.

i had to go to two professors in one day and tell them that i wasn't going to be able to turn the assignment in on time. and these are major assignments. like, grade-determining assignments.

let me say a few things.
1. i love school. i love learning and reading and studying. i'm not as big a fan of writing papers, but still, i love school. and because i love school, i'm a pretty good student.
2. i love to organize and plan, and my calendar is color-coded and all my work is planned out, to the day.
3. only once before now have i ever had to go to a professor and ask for an extension (it was a reading class in college, and truly i waited too long to do it, and it cost me on the assignment). that's because i hate turning in assignments late.

now, i really didn't want to tell my professors that i wasn't able to do the work for them. it felt partly disrespectful, that i was saying something else was more important than their class and that i didn't feel the need to do my work on time (like when you're late to meet people all the time -- it's disrespectful of that person). that wasn't what i was saying, but i felt like they were going to feel that way. it also felt a little like failure. a good student doesn't have to turn in assignments late, and i felt like i was failing because i struggled to do the work on time.
honestly, i didn't go to them to ask for an extension. i was simply telling them that the assignment would be late, and that i understood that i would have a penalty because of that. i just needed them to know that i hadn't turned it in and that i was working on it.

and you know what both professors did?
both of them asked me when i could have it done.
both said, 'it's ok.'
the first gave me the weekend, with only a few points taken for lateness, rather than the full ten.
the second gave me an entire week, with no late penalty at all.
both showed me a lot of grace.

grace i didn't deserve, but i guess that's the point of grace, right?
even though i didn't want to go to my professors and say, "i'm sorry. i just couldn't do it," i had no other choice. so i pushed aside that pride that said i could do it all (and almost made me sick from staying up all night long), and told them the truth.
and they showed me grace.
praise the Lord.

and because they showed me grace, i was able to spend some time with friends last night, and take a break from working so hard. i was able to relax, and i will be able to do better work than i would have had i turned the papers in on time.

so i have a new to do list!
10-15 page paper
15-20 page paper
take home final
in class final
and other things that are on my to do list, but have nothing to do with school (like, exploring christmas in nola, baking christmas goodies for people, christmas shopping, cleaning, and other miscellaneous fun :))!

and i must go begin to do this work so i actually can turn in quality work and not abuse the grace that i've been shown.
have a happy day!

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