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love

i haven't written in awhile. i started a post about how this year has been so full of the unexpected, so full of the spectrum of life, ebbing and flowing from joy to sadness, from fear to peace, and back again. the post was complete with pictures of the happenings of 2011 so far...which has by far been, and will continue to be, a year full of changes i never expected (but have mostly welcomed, nonetheless).
i never finished it.
it's still sitting in draft mode.
instead, i want to write about the many thoughts i'm processing. i am, however, finding it more difficult to express them than i originally considered. 
so i guess i'll go with one.
about a week ago i started listening to the series andy stanley did at northpoint earlier this year for singles called the new rules for love, sex, and dating (and, by the way, kudos to him for preaching an entire 4 week series focused solely on the single and dating people, rather than a series on marriage and devoting one week to singles....). i'd heard from a lot of people that it was really great, and i like andy stanley, so i figured i'd check it out. i listened to the first two, but haven't listened to the rest. and he did do a good job (so far, at least...there are a couple things i'm waiting him out on).
the first message addressed the "right person myth," where he talked about how so many singles don't really do anything (character-wise, not in getting out there and meeting people wise) to prepare for marriage other than assuming that when they meet the right person, everything will be a-ok. which, i'll admit, there are times when i do believe there is a right person for you. to sum up a longer message, andy went on to talk about how singles shouldn't just be waiting for the right person, but they should focus on becoming the right person. he used 1 cor 13 (the "love" passage) to show what people should be focused on becoming, the character qualities one should possess in becoming the right person. his question was, "are you the person you are looking for is looking for?"
this is not something i haven't heard before. in fact, i've heard it a lot, from a lot of different people. i think it is good advice. 
but while i was listening to andy talk that day, it hit me a little differently than it has ever really hit me before. those character qualities from 1 corinthians embody love: patience, kindness, not envying or boasting, not being proud or self-seeking, honoring others, not being easily angered and keeping no record of wrongs, rejoicing in the truth, always protecting, trusting, hoping, persevering, and never failing. 
all kinds of love. not just love in marriage. 
should we not seek to be this kind of love to everyone we know? whether we're married or single or whatever? i know (i trust, anyway) that andy stanley didn't mean that only single people who are desiring to get married should start becoming this kind of love. but my thoughts as he was talking went towards, shouldn't we all do that? 
if i'm already married and listening to his message? if i think God has called me to singleness? if i'm divorced or widowed and don't want to get married again? if i'm single and don't want to get married? if i'm single and do want to get married?
i don't know the future. so i can't predict whether i'll be married or not, despite my desires or feelings on the subject. i don't know what God has planned. 
i think that's the major way i took this message: we should all seek to embody love as it is described in the Bible no matter where we are in life or what we think our future holds. we should all strive to be patient, kind, not envying, boasting, proud or self-seeking, slow to anger and forgiving, rejoicing in the truth, always protecting, trusting, hoping, persevering, and never failing. this is what our lives should look like. Jesus says is john 13:35, "by this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." i don't think He meant regular old love like we think of love -- i think He meant this kind of love. this is the kind of love Jesus Himself displayed, the kind of love that drew people to Him. the kind of love that changes the world.
after thinking about it some more and writing this, i began thinking about who we are as believers. aren't we called the bride of Christ? if i'm Christ's bride, and He is coming for me eventually, shouldn't i be seeking to live as He has called me to live? i don't mean that legalistically in anyway whatsoever, but if i am a believer, then i am His bride, as well as His follower, His disciple. in that way, i should be seeking to become the love the Bible talks about, to show the world who Christ is and how much He loves them.
and then, when i look at what the Bible says love is, i see how far i am from being that kind of love. oh, how often i'm impatient, rude, jealous, proud, angry, seeking my best interests, unwilling to forgive or trust, and giving up so easily. how often i display something totally other than what Christ was for the world. i remember how much i sin, how much i mess up. 
but then i remember, or God reminds me in some way, that He is love. and He loved me, and He has taken those sins away. once and for all. even though i'm going to keep messing up because i'm human, He keeps forgiving me. He keeps loving me. He is always love. 
and i am beyond grateful that Jesus is Who He is, that He loves me more than I deserve or could ever imagine. 
amazing grace, that calls me to love.

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