Living the Questions

i'm soo undecided about a lot of things. there's a girl i work with who seems to really dislike me a lot of the time for some reason i don't know. today, i walked into work and she said, "i'm going to need you to actually help me today." to which i replied, "i always actually help you." and then stared at her as she continued to talk. maybe not the best response, but i wasn't rude in the way i said it and i was tired. it is a frustrating situation. i want to go on a trip. i've done a lot of research on mayday this week, and there are actually some pretty fun traditions for the holiday. which i will share with you later, because i'm indulging in one of them and can't share right now. our farmer's market starts this sunday!! b/c our farmer's market starts this sunday, i'm waiting to buy some of my food til then and so i'm faced with not a lot of food in my house. and nothing i want to eat. except things i can...

and here's the second song "words and music" sondre lerche you be words, and i'll be music ain't you heard, that's how they do it? you're a poem when you're on your own i'll try not to get in your way but of all the poems i have known, baby, you give me something to say i'll be words, and you'll be music i concur, i can't refuse it you're a sad little tune by yourself so lovely i wanna sing along if there's one thing i know i can tell, when we get together we're a song whenever i'm with you it's true it's everything you say and do it's words & music, you & i listen here, i've gotta say it it's so clear, the way we should play it i will carry you, together we'll float through the sky we can marry too, together just look at us fly whenever i'm with you it's true it's everything you say and do it's words & music, you & i when we fight it...

hello :) it's going to be a wonderful saturday, i believe.... i just wanted to share 2 songs i really love right now... "your hands" jj heller i have unanswered prayers i have trouble i wish wasn’t there and i have asked a thousand ways that You would take my pain away You would take my pain away i am trying to understand how to walk this weary land make straight the paths that crooked lie oh Lord, before these feet of mine oh Lord, before these feet of mine when my world is shaking, heaven stands when my heart is breaking i never leave your hands when you walked upon the earth You healed the broken, lost and hurt i know You hate to see me cry one day You will set all things right yeah, one day You will set all things right when my world is shaking, heaven stands when my heart is breaking i never leave your hands Your hands that shaped the world are holding me they hold me still   **i know this song makes i...

thoughts in my head and feelings in my heart, that is... oh, so many... i've tried for a few weeks to be able to put words to them, to share with y'all and such, but i can't put the right words with them to make them coherent. there are, in fact, a few unfinished blogs sitting around waiting to be published, but it never seems quite right to post them. like they aren't ready. or i'm not ready. either way, they sit, unfinished, unpublished. and i guess that means i'm still sifting through all the thoughts and feelings, deciphering what they mean, trying to make sense of them to myself. so i sit. and wait. and think. and sit, wait and think some more. and some more. and i have no idea where all this sitting and waiting and thinking is going to take me. but i guess that's ok. "have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign langu...

to say these things: 1) i dislike driving. period. at all. 2) i HATE driving at night. 3) i had a lot of time to think today and it was good. 4) i wish that there was some sort of fairy who would unpack for me after trips...or an easy button would work too :)

so, this week i'm in ga. i've got a wedding this weekend and had some time off from work this week due to passover, so i just came for the whole week. there are things i had planned for the week: spending time with family hanging out with friends  getting everything together to hopefully teach in the city next year fixing my microsoft word backing up/organizing all my pictures and music getting plans for summer camp job ready getting some grocery-type things for cheaper than i can in the city doing nothing so far, i've accomplished a few of them....i think i always plan far too much to do when i have these breaks from reality.... but it's ok...it's been a good week and it's going to stay that way :)

actual conversation i had in the safeway parking lot yesterday: i'm leaving safeway and walking through the parking lot to my car. j random guy: you're from ga? (b/c he's standing right next to my car and saw the license plate) me: yes. random guy: ah, you look like a georgia peach, that's for sure. me: nervous laughter as i get in my car really? really? i'm pretty sure he meant it as a compliment, but i wasn't aware that girls from georgia had a specific look....did i miss something? oh, baltimore....