“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity..."
Edith Lovejoy Pierce
here we are, with a new chapter in our lives unfolding. what will it bring for you? for me?
as the year 2008 came to a close and the door for 2009 opened, i found myself in an interesting place. fresh and unfamiliar territory surrounded me: new apartment, pretty new job and still new to this city (although, it's not as unfamiliar as it was...). new thoughts, questions, challenges. new friends.
however, i also found myself encompassed by things of the past. old friends, which is never bad. old comforts. and also, older, drearier, worn out thoughts, habits, challenges, and questions.
here i am, at a crossroads. which will i cling to? which will i head towards? will it be a journey forward, of growth, discovery, and relationships? or will i find myself turning around and heading to the past, clinging to experiences that i let define me?
i like the quote at the beginning because it is true. we have an open book in front of us and the power to write whatever words we choose. the pages ahead of us have yet to be filled. however, i find that so often we don't start with a blank page. our past experiences color our futures -- for better or worse. they often are the lens through which we view and approach the world. this is not awful in and of itself, for our experiences are used to shape us and make us who we are meant to be. but so often we consume ourselves with the past and stop there. we don't allow ourselves to grow and learn through the past. our past defines us.
i believe that our pasts have a purpose. God knows what He's doing. never doubt that. we aren't intended to live in the past. but oh, how often do i find myself returning to the past? living there, instead of here? and how often do i find myself allowing my past to keep me from taking part in the present and shaping the future?
far too often. i think my struggle is this: i'm not giving everything to God. i don't allow Him to mold all that is a part of me -- my past, my experiences, my relationships, my passions -- together to create the picture He's trying to paint. when i try to put it all together, it comes out a mess. but what would happen if i handed it all over and let God paint for me? let Him figure out how it all works? it'd be a lot more beautiful. and it might come out the way it's supposed to. everything integrated. everything fused together. working as a whole and not in pieces.
each of us knows pain. we know joy. heartache. love. anger. forgiveness. we all have a past.
but we all have a present and a future.
and it's an open book.
what words will you allow God to write in your story? what words will you write?
words that tell the same story? that never change? that cling to the past?
or words of growth? words of excitement?
words that tell a story you could never imagine because you handed everything you have -- past, present, and future -- over to God and let Him put it all together?
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