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25 things update #2

today i'm going to update on #3: go to a movie by myself.

i've always felt weird about doing things by myself. and for some reason, going to the movies by myself was one of those things that i just couldn't bring myself to do. it seemed like the perfect way to turn something that is supposed to be fun into something that definitely isn't. seeing everyone else there with friends and families, enjoying movies together, while you are alone just invites the "why am i alone? where are my friends?" mood-killing attitude that would hinder your enjoyment of a movie. then, there's also the fact that you feel like you stand out and everyone is watching you to see why on earth you came to the movies by yourself. that's not fun.
however, while all of these thoughts are floating around in my head, i also see going to the movies by yourself as a way to enjoy your own company and a way to see a movie that maybe none of your friends want to see in the theater or have time to see. or, if you live somewhere new and don't really have any friends to go with just yet. going to the movies by yourself can be a treat then, because you're getting out and doing things.

now i have a confession to make: i didn't actually do this. but in march, i did something that i feel more than qualifies.
i went here:
and saw this:


for those of you who don't know, that is the hippodrome. baltimore's equivalent of the fox theater. where they show broadway plays. yeah. where you have to get dressed up and everything. the second picture is the picture for in the heights. just after i saw it i blogged a few sentences about it here.

in case you don't read the other post, i have wanted to see this musical forever. i love musicals (most of them anyway). i love going to the theater and seeing plays. getting dressed up, eating out, having fun. with friends. i saw one of the numbers for in the heights during the tony's or the macy's parade or something and heard nothing but rave reviews about it since then.
it's a play about the neighborhood of washington heights in ny and the people who live there. what it means to be family. to be friends. to be a community. it's a play about life. about love. about home. the music is like no other show i've seen -- it's a mix of just about every genre you could think of. traditional musical style stuff with a lot of other stuff thrown in (think rap and hip-hop).
when i saw the billboard advertising its run in bmore, i wanted to go. i talked to a friend about it (one of the only friends i thought would actually go with me) and she was up for it. because at the time, there was no way i was going to this show alone. as the time got closer, it wasn't going to work out for my friend to go. i did not want to miss it and knew that if i didn't go (even though it cost a lot of money that i didn't really have), i would regret it. i bought the ticket.
when saturday came around, i was actually excited about going, and going alone. i didn't know where to park or how to get in the theater or where anything was, but i wanted it. i enjoyed getting ready and leaving and knowing that i was doing something i wanted to do. i found everything and was fine. during intermission, i bought the soundtrack and even moved to another seat because no one was there.

honestly? it wasn't nearly as bad as i thought it would be. no one said anything to me or even really looked at me strangely. i learned that i can enjoy my own company. that i can figure things like parking out without getting lost (although, it did help that the garage was right across the street). that i can't let not having someone to do something with (be it friend, family, or otherwise) keep me from doing it. or let the fear of what could happen keep me from doing it. was it possible that someone could have made a comment to me? sure. but that wouldn't have kept me from enjoying the show.
the worst part of it? walking from the parking garage to the theater, feeling self-conscious. and then sitting behind someone really tall for the first act.
and it turned out to be a good thing i went by myself because i spent the entire second act in tears. literally. not loudly, of course, but definitely in tears. would i have enjoyed having someone to talk about it with and share the experience with? yes. but it was wonderful either way.

looking back on it, i was nervous. and there were moments i was self-conscious about being there alone, even though i was excited about it. but i know that i would be regretting it now if i didn't scrounge up the courage -- and the money -- to go see it.

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