goodness

boy, has it been a long couple of months. so much has happened.

meg's wedding/family vacation in charleston.
the new school year started at the j.
my car broke. and was fixed. and broke again.
seeing the reactions of the hope village kiddos when we come to their doors.
my computer hard drive crashed.
being in a financial situation i never intended to be in.
interviewing for a teaching job.
waiting weeks to hear from said job, being encouraged by a phone call, then not getting it.
being up and down. and up and down. and up and down emotionally.
finally seeing where the wild things are.
the toilet in our apt leaking. and the hot water giving out.
a visit from maria and susan.
coat drive with gallery at fast. and hope village.
halloween.
my one year in baltimore anniversary.

and i'm sure there's more. but that's what i remembered off the top of my head.
it would be really easy to look at that list and focus on the negative.
i know. because there have been moments where i've done that.
and part of me is doing it right now.
wondering where God is in all those things.
and why He's allowing this to happen all at once.
and when relief was (is) going to come.
because i can't see that. i don't know those things.

but i have to remember that my prayer these last couple of months has been that no matter what happens, it would be well with my soul. because God is in control. and acknowledging that fact, that's the only response i can have....it is well with my soul.

and i also have to look at that list and see the good.
i got to see my family again, go to the beach, and see my friends all at once.
my computer was fixed. for free. because of an extended warranty and (most importantly) a couple of friends who were willing to fix/transport it.
while my car was broken, my baltimore family let me borrow cars and carpool. and then they fixed it for me.
i've been able to be with my kids at the j for some more time.
because it's an apartment, the landlord fixes things that are wrong. i don't have to worry about it.
the visit from maria and susan was a lot of fun.
i've been able to spend a lot of time with friends, hanging out and enjoying them, in a lot of different ways.
those reactions from the hope village kids? realizing that it means we're building relationships and trust with them.
that interview i had, but which wasn't successful? it got me thinking about teaching again. and my purpose. and what i really and truly want to be doing.
my one year means that i've been here a year (duh, right?). but it means so much more than that, also.
the coat drive(s) was a truly wonderful time with the community, helping others and having fun with them, too.

there is good in that list. even in the "bad". which means that God is in that list as well.
and He always was.
and He always will be.