Skip to main content

fickle feelings

i started this post yesterday, and it started off with saying that i was just having one of those days....well, things change....

today, i can't say i was doing much better than yesterday. restless, feeling useless (my goodness, i'm not good at this sitting around business...i've done it for long enough), having nothing to do, etc. these feelings have something to do with where i am in life right now -- not knowing where i'm headed or when i'm headed that way and feeling like i'm stuck doing nothing because what if "it" comes and i'm too busy looking at/doing temporary things i'm not supposed to be doing and i would miss it. sorry if that made no sense whatsoever...
okay, so in not knowing exactly what my future holds, i've had a lot of thoughts about it and i'm pretty sure which direction i'm heading. when? what i'll be doing? no answers yet, but the where i'm pretty certain about (98 and 3/4% anway -- anyone know the reference?).
so, i sent a resume and filled out an application and....nothing (only one, you ask? yes, because as a teacher, you only need to fill out one application to the school system....). granted, it hasn't been terribly long since i've done those things. however, i've gotten very down about it these last couple of days. everything seems rather impossible. i know that nothing is impossible with Christ, but sometimes, human nature just gets in the way of seeing clearly. so down, in fact, that i started wondering if i'm wrong. maybe it's not supposed to be this way. maybe... what if...? and on and on. well, today i found something else and felt my spirits lifting.
and then i realized. my confidence in what God is calling me to, my faith in His plan, has been resting on things other than God Himself. i've let my feelings determine how strong my faith is in the plan God has for me, in who I am in Him, and in my view of Him. and i realized, once again, how human i am and how in need of a Savior i am. how wonderful that God's redeemed me!

olympics thought:
last time i said something about how the marathon was not so exciting to watch. and i stand by that -- for the majority of the race. but i got to watch the end of the women's marathon. watching her run in and win that race after working so hard. amazing. and then, to watch one of the women come in after having to stop for awhile because she was hurt was great. she finished, hurt and all. that's what this is about. giving your all. mmm, i think we lose that so often in our sporting events. it's refreshing to see people who do this because they love it and not for the money.
and then, after the marathon came phelps' last swim of the olympics. to watch him attain his goal and win with with help of his team was priceless. history was made.
and i admit it. i teared up watching both of these things happen.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

happy new year! and....a quarter of a century

happy new year, my friends! i hope you celebrated in a fun way and were with people you love :) i was able to see some friends i never get to see new year's eve...and then was back at my parents' house by around 10:15...and was in bed by 11:30.... i did not stay awake to welcome in 2010, but i'm ok with that :) in other news, i'll be a quarter of a century old in a week. 25... i'm not one to freak out about my age (at least not yet) but 25 is a good year, i think. and in honor of my turning 25, i've decided to make lists of 25. because it'll be fun, and who doesn't love a good list? and because i spent yesterday traveling, the first list is a travel list, but is by no means complete or comprehensive....there's no way i could make a full list of everywhere i've been or would like to go.... so, enjoy!! 25 places i've traveled or would like to travel (red = where i've been, blue = where i'd like to go) 1. new orleans,...
5 comments
Read more

Over the Cliff

In the middle of Prince Caspian, there's a moment. Lucy has seen Aslan, but no one else has, and Aslan's told her she has to follow, whether anyone else does or not. Fortunately, they all agree to go with her. As the set off, she's the only one who can see Him, and she's leading everyone else.  "He led them to the right of the dancing trees -- whether they were still dancing nobody knew, for Lucy had her eyes on the Lion and the rest had their eyes on Lucy -- and nearer the edge of the gorge...for a long way Aslan went along the top of the precipices. Then they came to a place where some little trees grew right on the edge. He turned and disappeared among them. Lucy held her breath, for it looked as if he had plunged over the cliff..." Recently, I feel as if I've been following Jesus and He's disappeared, plunged right over the cliff. ********************* Last fall, I began thinking about words for 2017. I love the idea of claimin...
3 comments
Read more

the final list of 25 :)

so, today's the day! i'm now a quarter of a century old :) and to celebrate this year, i decided to create a list of 25 things to do the year i turn 25.... the list that started all the other lists.... because then it turned into a week long list-making event.... and i've loved it! because, as you know, i love making lists. so, without further ado, here is the last list of 25: 25 things to do this year 1. re-learn to play the piano 2. read all the books on my shelf i've never read 3. go to a movie by myself 4. visit the museums in this city 5. learn to sew and knit or crochet 6. re-learn my spanish (or at least, start to) 7. cook something i've never cooked before at least 2x a month 8. start saving money 9. try to visit my friends who live in other places 10. send more cards to people 11. read one classic novel a month 12. take more pictures 13. become less dependent on makeup 14. make a meal plan every week 15. become less emotionally-d...
2 comments
Read more